Are YOU Clingy?!

Alrighty girlfriends... and dudes... It's soon to be summer time (if you're in the northern hemisphere, that is!) and this is usually a time when a lot of fun is to be had. But if you're being a Hoover (or maybe we should call them Dyson's these days! LOL!) in your relationship; that's to say, you're sucking the life out of your relationship by being clingy.. you could be setting yourself up for a breakup! And no one really means for this clinginess to come about.. it just happens! You're excited! You can't wait to hear from them, to see them, to BE with them. And then comes the boys' or girls' night out and you start to feel upset because they should want to spend that time with you. Or they said they'd call or text you back, but didn't...

Relationships are TOUGH work! They are not the things of fairy tales or Hollywood romances. Though they can sometimes feel that way, it's not how it'll be 100% of the time! And there's a delicate balance that has to be maintained.. Otherwise you start to become that needy, over obsessed partner that your other half starts to wonder what the hell they are seeing you for! Which then starts bringing about doubts, maybe even arguments, and possibly even a break up! So how do you keep things in check?!


#1 - You have to realize that your better half is their own person. They will think, feel, and deal with things completely differently than you will. If you happened to see my post Happily Ever After Someday, or you check it after you read this, you'll see the pain scale graphic. EVERYONE experiences things differently, whether it be pain or love! Clinginess doesn't come about from feeling unappreciated or from there being a lack of love. It comes from not being understanding, from forming an over dependency and from being insecure.

#2 - You BOTH need your own space! You have your own likes and dislikes.. or you should anyways, because if you both like 100% of everything and think the same way.. that is going to get real boring, REAL quick! Everyone needs time to themselves to de-stress and unwind from the day. Even married couples aren't all up in each other's face 24/7, and if they are, it usually isn't because they're in love! And even then, it probably still wouldn't be 24/7!

#3 - You're a jabber jaw and s/he's not.. or maybe you just are like "just let me listen to you breathe on the phone while you.. play Xbox, write your thesis, pay your bills, etc."... It's O-K if you don't have hour upon hour gab sessions EVERY DAY. Hell, it's ok if you don't even talk every day!! It doesn't mean things are done and over or s/he doesn't care! It just means there were other things that needed done in their life!! Don't take it personal.. maybe they spent 4 hours on the phone at work (if that's something that's possible) and they just don't have it in them to talk! There could be a number of things... you don't have to make it about you.

#4 - Friends get in the way... or so it seems. This is going to be a huge one for some. Maybe you don't like the friends because they aren't motivated, or maybe they're the opposite sex! Either way, the friends were there BEFORE the relationship and just because you might not like them; doesn't mean they need to drop them like hot cakes! Being demanding is NOT attractive in any way, shape, or form. And if friends come into the mix AFTER the relationship is in place, you have to TRUST that your S.O. is smart enough to make decisions on who they want in their life! If you're feeling resentful because they have a life outside of you, then you'll need to take a look at where things are at within your own life and why you're feeling that your happiness is being dependent on them being around. It's all good to have your own friends, hobbies, and just general life to live!

#5 - Insecurity creeps in!! Alas, the night out occurs and you just KNOW a hookup is going to happen. Really?! If you have that little trust in this person, you might really want to consider WHY you are with them in the first place. Let's just say in a reverse situation that YOU'RE the one that out and all of a sudden this SUPER HOT cutie is striking up a conversation and you know their hitting on you... well, of course you could take them up on the offer. But you're happy in your relationship and you're able to keep the conversation while saying in your head, or maybe even saying, NO THANKS I'M TAKEN. Again, it's about trust. Just because you're talking to the opposite sex doesn't mean you're going to hop into bed with them!

#6 - Did we DTR?!? That is to say you are NOT just dating and it is a full fledged relationship! You don't have to ask if you're the S.O., you KNOW it. And don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean you sat down and said "oh so we're boyfriend/girlfriend now, right?". Sometimes it goes that way and sometimes it doesn't. But if you have to question it, then it's usually a safer assumption to step back and take the "dating" route rather than it being something serious. If you really want to know, then open up and communicate.. but that doesn't give you the option to get upset either if you thought things were serious and they thought things were casual. Dating doesn't mean that it's fair game though either and y'all can just go around being casual with everybody and anybody. Boundaries still need to be established... in this day and age STDs are a serious matter! You BOTH need to be responsible and be able to communicate what it is you're wanting from the relationship... no matter what stage it is in!

#7 - OMG it IS a relationship! YEA! So for the sake of this time line.. it is an actual relationship that's been defined and you're out of the dating phase of it.. that doesn't mean there's a ring on it yet. And really, even if there was a ring on it, that doesn't mean it'll be there forever either. OMG I hope I didn't freak y'all out with that one! But it is the truth. And for most guys, and some women, something like that graphic would make them run for the hills!! But being overly affectionate can be just as hard to handle for some. Because they can question why you are trying too hard, or they may even wonder if the effort they are going to be able to give to the relationship is enough! As I said way back in the beginning of this post... relationships take work.. whether you're 1 week into it or 10 years into it!

And though the pic is rather funny and MOST people (obviously there was one!) wouldn't consider something like that.. I have to say that one of the main reasons I posted this blog in the first place was because I had a smattering of sessions today that had distinct undertones of this very clinginess I've been talking about with this post! I thought it might be more important to share this before it becomes more apparent as summer approaches and these sorts relationships require some rescuing! So to summarize and to really make your relationship the most awesome-ist it can be...

*YOU are awesome! KNOW it, BE it! *Everyone is their own self! Be independent and understanding! *Appreciate the time you have together.. DON'T demand the time. *Don't try to overcompensate by giving too much! Maintain a balance of give and take. *TRUST and COMMUNICATE!


So.. I think I was able to cover everything in there on how NOT to be clingy! But I might not have.. Seriously, I have scribbles all over a notepad of things I was channeling today that it will probably take weeks to totally organize! But at least this is a good start!

But if you're still wondering where things stand within your relationship and you would like me to take a look at things for you, feel free to send me a message at my facebook page or my email and I'll be glad to help!

Be on the lookout for Tarotscopes! ;)
Andi

S&P: Synchronicity & Perseverance!

No, not Standard & Poor.. but Synchronicity and Perseverance! Today I was hit with a LOT of synchronicity (actually it's been the last few days!).. and the last one happened just as I uploaded this pic which was even funnier and gave me pause for another smile!!!

I am a total Star Wars nerd. If you didn't already know that, you do now. I'm actually a pretty big sci-fi geek in general and just bought my son the first 3 Dragonlance novels for his birthday since he's so into Skyrim and they had been one of my favorite series back in the day! Anyways, I'm getting off track! (that seems to happen often! LOL!)


So along with my synchronicity showing up through number prompts; I also happened upon this Japanese proverb earlier, "石の上にも三年." which says "Ishi no ue nimo san-nen.". In English "Even the coldest rock will get warm if sat on for three years." and basically translates to perseverance wins out in the end! I had to sit for a second and let it sink in.. trying is great and all, and for the most part it IS "doing". But I also noticed over the last couple days that I've been hearing a lot of "Well if xyz happens than xyz will be easier/better/xyz". You can inset xyz in any way! Like "If I lose 10 lbs. than I will be happier and have more confidence." or "If he calls me than he must care and want to get back together.". And that very well could be the case with things, OR it might not be. So that also got me to thinking that DOING needs to be more of the focus rather than just TRYING. Or even allowing others to do what YOU want to have happen. Which brought me back to another post that I had about Minding Your Thoughts. Because you can say that you might TRY to get something done, but in a way you're giving yourself permission to not follow through!!! And THAT is where perseverance starts to suffer!

If you want something to happen, DON'T wait for the perfect time. There isn't one. The perfect time is when it happens! And that could be in 5 minutes or 5 years. That's your choice to make too! If you're waiting for someone else to make something happen for YOU, DON'T. Because if it doesn't happen, you have an excuse that it didn't happen because of them. And that can cause resentment when there doesn't need to be any. Take the responsibility on yourself to make things within your life exactly as you want. And don't get me wrong, there are circumstances with everything. But unless you actually put in the effort to see if what you want can happen, you can't be upset when they don't manifest!

I hope this might actually give someone the jumpstart that they need to put something in motion that they've been waiting for!! Because there isn't any better time than NOW to get going!!!

If there's something you would like me to take a look at for you with a reading so you can get some better clarity within a situation, feel free to send me a message on facebook or email and I'll be happy to help!

Have an awesome weekend!
Andi


P.S. Yesterday's post was my 100th blog post!!!! YIPPEE!!!!! And I hadn't even noticed until just now! :)

Accept Nothing But The Best! Quality Over Quantity!

“Quality is not an act.  It is a habit.” ~Aristotle

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different outcomes.” ~Einstein

“Quality is more important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles.” ~Steve Jobs

This image totally had me laughing!! When I first went on a mission to find a good one there was a closet full  of shoes, which while it was great and conveyed the message well.. I thought this one was cuter! And we all know I'd much rather have something be humorous than be dull and boring! Anyways, let's get into this post!

So, things have been rather interesting through this Mercury Retrograde period... and as it moved out of Sagittarius and back into Scorpio, I've noticed more of an inward reflection coming about from many people. Some of them have been good, others maybe not so much. But hey, everyone's got their things to deal with in their own way. Which is how this post came about!!

For a while I've felt that I was selling myself short. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I'm not really one for confrontation. I would much rather come to a compromise.. even if it usually ends up that I'm the one compromising a little more than someone else! However, there comes a point when compromising too much ends up causing more problems than it's worth!! Now I might be going a little off track some, but it'll make sense.. I hope! LOL!

I've had clients ask me "how come you charge different amounts at different sites?!". The reason for this is because of commission and payment structure. One site I just started with has a grace period to which they start you off at a set price and once you are past that, you can change it. It's the cheapest at the moment.. so if you find me there; you're definitely getting a HUGE deal! However, another site I've worked on for years takes HALF of my pay and they only pay once a month. Which with 4 kids, definitely takes some bill juggling to make sure things are paid on time!! Another site, I pay a smaller commission and am paid automatically, although besides their commission I end up paying fees on the payments. Sooo.. the short explanation is that I charge what I can on the sites based on what the commission is! I always try to be as fair as possible and $2.00/minute is what I charge my personal clients that are not going to these sites. The standard going rate for services within a metaphysical shop in most major cities is between $1.50 - $3.00/minute.

Ok so back to the quality over quantity... Now, on occasion I will offer my services at a discounted "special" rate. Actually I'll be having one in the next few days for Thanksgiving! So keep your eyes peeled! However, sometimes clients take this as that I've now lowered my rate and they should be able to keep receiving this rate for their sessions. This unfortunately happens more times than I'd like and has led me to question whether specials are something I should offer. But my guides say yes, so I just listen! But this reliance of a discounted rate then ends up creating more of a dependency on readings and it because more of a quantity over quality situation! A client may spend more time in a session and not really being focused because they feel they are able to take more time chit chatting than if they were focused on getting to the heart of the matter. And while chit chatting is perfectly acceptable within a reading, the main focus should be getting the information that you are direly seeking! And NOT seeking it out every other day either!!! There needs to be a self-reliance on your own intuition to bring yourself closer to the Universe! If you are seeking it through others, you will only end up feeling further away when you try to figure out the "quality" of the information you are receiving!

Now.. unfortunately this brings up another point I have to make. In this day and age of "drive thru service" there has become quite the influx of spiritual and/or psychic "gurus". I am eternally grateful that I've been able to study with some of the absolute best mentors. However, there are many that pick up a deck of Tarot cards or read a book, give a couple readings to themselves and friends and think, "Oh I can make money doing this". And while I DO mentor many people that somewhat come from this train of thought, I let them know upfront that practicing in an unscrupulous way will do nothing for them in the long run. There's a reason I've been able to work solely in this line of work for the last 12 years... it's because I'm honest. Am I wrong at times? Sure. I'm only human.. I might not interpret something my guides give me in the right way or there's always this pesky thing called free will that can change in a blink of an eye. But for the most part, I'm rather eerily accurate with things. Unfortunately though there is a lot of talk between those of us that are honest about the "sweat shop psychics" that have been popping up lately. They not only are hurting the sites that we work on, they're hurting the whole industry with the mockery they are making of our work! I akin them to the knockoff purses.. they might look the part on the outside, but they most certainly are NOT the real deal!

To which I now need to make another extremely valid point... there is NO governing entity that will certify that someone's training means any more than the paper it is printed on. So while there may be those out there with Master Tarot Reader certifications or whatever, they don't mean a damn thing! In this line of work, you must be EXTREMELY diligent with your research in who you would trust to give you advice with your life choices. While I do have certifications within certain fields, I don't feel as though they entirely convey the quality of service I strive to give! There are very good mentors that are still available and there are some that have given up because of this whole certification collecting mentality that suddenly came about. Whether or not someone has a certification is not going to help you know whether the information you receive is going to be accurate. That only comes from trusting yourself and the trust you feel from their genuineness to help you!

So I definitely want to close out this post in saying.. do your research! ANY psychic, reader, healer, or mentor should have no problems answering questions about themselves to you before you look to them for services. If they're only out for the money.. they're not going to have your best interests in mind and will most likely only be telling you what you want to hear! Most sites will have reviews that can somewhat give some insight into how accurate a reader may be, however, some of these reviews may also be FAKE. Word of mouth can be really great and most honest readers are more than happy to give referrals if they don't feel they would be able to assist you. Get to really know your reader and definitely don't put us on any sort of pedestal! We're really no different than anyone else.. as I always say... EVERYONE IS PSYCHIC!!!

And with that I'm going to invite you to get to know me on my Facebook or at Twitter.. I gotta say I'm a lot more active on Facebook than anywhere else. But I'm trying to get back into the Twitter groove again. Along with figuring out a schedule to get some damn posts on here more regularly! LOL! So I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend and if you would like a reading, healing, etc. just send me a message at my email or Facebook and I'll get back to you ASAP!

Have a blessed day!
Andi

Happily Ever After Someday

First off I have to say that I am NOT a licensed psychologist, but I most certainly deal with relationship issues on a daily basis! So when I was scrolling through my facebook feed I saw Romantic Comedies Are Ruining Your Relationship and thought I should give it a read considering romcoms are one of my favorite genres!

What had me frustrated with this article was how it said these movies "bear no resemblance to genuine human interaction." Well, quite frankly, that's not the truth.. because aren't most movies/tv shows based on personal experiences from the writers point of view? Granted it is the same recycled story over and over by this time, but there IS some truth to be had from them. I'm sure I can think of any number of stories from shows that fit into my friends or families relationships! My husband and I just watched What To Expect When You're Expecting the other day and I guess that fits into a romcom! Seeing that we just had our 4th baby in June, the days of pregnancy are not all that far behind us and we laughed at the situations in the movie we just recently had dealt with. My husband and I have been together for almost 18 years and it hasn't been all fairy tale fun.. hell, even the D word has come up in the past! But ALL relationships take work! And it's exceptionally important to remember that everyone is going to have their own feelings. No one is going to feel EXACTLY the same, and certainly not at the same time, for the same reasons!

Don't get me wrong, there were some poignant parts in the article as well.. especially that people don't change unless they really want to. But that doesn't necessarily just apply in the relationship realm! And another GREAT article I read a few days ago called 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage came from a man's perspective, definitely shows how men and women can process things differently!! What one person considers cheating, another may not. Even what one person considers putting in effort, another might think they're slacking! There's a reason why doctors use a pain scale.. so it's obviously NOT the one that I chose for my graphic! LOL! But y'all know me to have a sense of humor! But one person's 5 is another person's 10! Kinda along the lines of beauty being in the eye of the beholder!

So.. do I think any man or woman should "wait around" for their love to come around? Absolutely not! But that doesn't mean to cut them off at the knees either!! It's all in what you would feel is right or wrong for yourself. And NO ONE can or should make those sorts of life changing decisions for you!

Of course, this is just my opinions on things! But in my own experiences in my relationships and marriage and the experiences I have with my clients.. I will say that love CAN conquer all! As I finish up writing this blog I'm watching Once Upon a Time.. coincidence; not a chance!

And as always, if you’d like a reading or you just want to get to know me more, you can send me a message at facebook or my email!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Many Blessings!!!!
Andi

30 Days To Change

When I first had the idea for this post it was mostly based off of my post 30 Days To Finding Love. That and I've been watching the show 30 Days on Netflix! And then today while I was outside I had a volunteer come up to the house to see if I wanted to receive my ballot in the mail, which I already have sent in my info to receive it! So, on that note... PLEASE VOTE! If you need to register to vote, it needs done ASAP as most states require you to register 30 days before the election. Current election countdown: 37 days!! I gotta be honest.. I've been able to vote for the last 4 elections, but when you're young it's not really something you think is all that important and the last election was the first I took part in... and let me say, it was TRULY empowering! So get out there and vote because your opinion matters! And it doesn't matter if our opinions are different, everyone is entitled to make their own decisions. Which is what is really being shown on the show 30 Days! Brief summary; take one person who has an opinion and see if they can live with their opposition for 30 days. It really is VERY eye opening with some of the situations people are put in. Especially the episode where a man had lost his job being outsourced to India. If you can catch the series, definitely give it a look!

Now obviously this post isn't going to be like my other one, but hey that's OK! Today's the Full Moon and lemme tell you, it seems like EVERYONE is really being affected by it's transforming energy! I know I am and I can't wait to see what it brings about! And really it doesn't take 30 days to make a change... changes come about by consciously making a choice moment by moment! But within 30 days, or a moon cycle if you want to look at it that way, you really can bring about a more cohesive routine into your life! Routines and schedules are great! Everything in nature is routine. Heck, not to bring up 30 Days again, but the episode where he lived on the Native American reservation he was expected to wake up every morning for a run to greet the Sun! And in some ways there are routines that we have come to live with that we might not always enjoy; e.g. WORK! Lots of people are dissatisfied in their J.O.B.s (Just Over Broke). But there are those routines that we are able to create for ourselves that can bring about the change that we want for ourselves whether it be a better income, relationship, physique, or even state of mind!

So for 30 days, starting on October 1st.. let's all keep a journal (mine'll just be a notebook or maybe I'll post some to facebook too!) and every day until October 31st when with Samhain or Halloween and the Turn of the Wheel, see what we can manifest for ourselves! Write down at least one goal - go ahead and elaborate your ideas on how you would achieve this if you want. Be able to really solidify your plan within your mind and see yourself achieving success! Also write down at least one thing you are grateful for! It's important to reflect on the good things that are there in life and it makes it much more appreciative when success comes about.. and keeps you a little grounded! I would definitely like to see what you can create, so please feel free to send me an email or message at facebook!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! (and don't forget to register to vote this coming week if you're not registerd!)

Andi

Asking for Help.. it's not that difficult!

Golly gee it's been a while since I've managed to make a post on my blog! But sometimes life just becomes a little complicated... As some of you may or may not know, I recently moved back to Florida AND I had my third child, Soren, in June! Something had to give and thus the blog went on the back burner! When you're a *new* mom you tend to put a lot of focus into being SUPER mom... everything needs to go exactly how you think it will! But this also happens at many other times in someones life as well. You strive to push yourself to the limits to meet whatever expectations you think you need to attain. And sooner or later you'll hit a wall if you think you can do it alone!!

Of course though asking for help can take a hit to your pride. It's not always the easiest to admit when something becomes a little too much to handle on your own! And whether you'd like to admit it or not, we all have someone that's got our back in times of need. When you open yourself up into letting someone else take the reins, it might feel as though you're giving over a sense of control. This really isn't the case though as opening up in this way brings about a deeper sense of trust! "We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." ~Walter Anderson 

It's really that trust that allows you to see how much you're cared for and lets you view things from another perspective! Sometimes it's tough to realize that you can't do it all OR know it all! And at the same time it's those weaknesses that make you all the more human. NO ONE has the "perfect" life.. as much as they might like you to think that! I think that's part of why my clients find me so relatable... my ego doesn't get in the way! I'm able to see that no matter what, we're all just doing the best that we're able to do with the resources we're given at any particular time! Sometimes it'll just take us a little longer to ask for that helping hand because we think we're able to keep pushing ourselves to grin and bear it. I know I do it a lot of the time!! But none of us has to suffer in silence... there's always someone that will help us see the light at the end of the tunnel if we're just willing to let them in!

If you're feeling like you need to look at things from a different perspective, I'd be more than happy to take a look at your situation for you! You can send me an email, IM me through any major IM client (YIM, AIM, MSN, etc.) at psychicandi, or contact me at facebook, Liveperson, Keen, or Bitwine! And on another note.. Definitely keep your eyes peeled for some new content that will be making it's way onto the blog now that I've been able to get more of a routine down! I hope everyone that has been keeping up with me and the new readers have been enjoying your summer!!!

Many Blessings!